The Proper Way to Speak Like a Mathematical Maniac: A Self-created Meme

Overview

This document serves as a Self-Correcting Lexicon of Mathematical Cryptography, translating sixteen common, everyday conversational phrases into their most technically dense and mathematically absurd equivalents. This meme, originating from a discussion among academic peers, highlights the humorous tendency of mathematicians to formalize the mundane. Each entry includes the translation, the precise mathematical expression, a detailed explanation of the concept, and the author’s subsequent self-critique and correction process, where applicable.

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The Lexicon Table: Conversational to Formal Translation

Conversational Phrase	English Translation	Formal Mathematical/Computational Equivalent
你好笨	You are so stupid	$O(n!)$ solution to an NP-hard problem
不想去	Don't want to go	$\text{Let } X \text{ be a scheme. Then } H^0(X, \mathcal{O}_X) = \emptyset$
不行	No way/Impossible	$\text{ZFC} \not\vdash \text{CH}$
随便	Whatever/Up to you	$\text{AC}$
你去忙吧	You go on with your work	$\Delta t \to \infty, \text{ where } \Delta t \text{ is interaction time}$
我不会	I can't do it	$\text{Problem} \in \mathbf{RE} \setminus \mathbf{R}$
唯一真神	The only true God	$\sum = \frac{ }{2}$
你好烦	You are annoying	$\dim_{\mathbb{C}} H^0(X, K_X) = \infty$
要你管	None of your business/Mind your own business	$\text{Aut}(G) \not\cong \text{Inn}(G)$
滚	Get lost/Go away	$\text{Proof of } \text{ind}(D) = \int_M \hat{A}(M) \text{ is acceptable}$
我错了	I was wrong	$\blacksquare \text{ contradiction}$
你错了	You are wrong	$0.999999\dots \neq 1$
吃过了	I've eaten	$\exists x \in \text{Spec}\mathcal{O}_K, \kappa(x) \neq \emptyset$
帮我个忙	Help me out/Do me a favor	$\Gamma \vdash ? : \text{Req} \to \text{Action}$
你陪我	Keep me company	$\text{Seeking } F \dashv G \text{ in } \mathcal{C}$
气死我了	I'm furious/It drives me mad	$\text{Gal}(E/\mathbb{Q}) \text{ is not solvable}$

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Detailed Explanations and Corrections

The meme's effectiveness lies in its technical density, which often draws from multiple advanced mathematical fields.

1. You are so stupid $\rightarrow O(n!)$ solution to an NP-hard problem

• Concept: This refers to the computational complexity of algorithms. An NP-hard problem is at least as hard as the hardest problems in NP.
• Mathematical Humor: A solution with $O(n!)$ (Factorial time complexity) is utterly inefficient. The insult is that the proposed "solution" is computationally stupid.

2. Don't want to go $\rightarrow \text{Let } X \text{ be a scheme. Then } H^0(X, \mathcal{O}_X) = \emptyset$

• Concept: Algebraic Geometry. $H^0(X, \mathcal{O}_X)$ is the space of global sections of the structure sheaf, representing the "presence" or "structure" over the entire space $X$. Setting it to $\emptyset$ means no structure exists.
• Author's Correction: The expression $H^0(X, \mathcal{O}_X) = \emptyset$ is formally incorrect. The space of global sections of the structure sheaf must contain at least the unit element (the scalar $1$), meaning the set is never empty. This was an honest error, not an intended pun.

3. No way/Impossible $\rightarrow \text{ZFC} \not\vdash \text{CH}$

• Concept: Set Theory. This states that the Continuum Hypothesis (CH) is undecidable in the standard Zermelo-Fraenkel set theory with the Axiom of Choice ($\text{ZFC}$), meaning it can neither be proven nor disproven.
• Mathematical Humor: The everyday "impossible" is translated to an axiomatically proven non-determinability.

4. Whatever/Up to you $\rightarrow \text{AC}$

• Concept: Axiom of Choice (AC). AC asserts the existence of a choice function but offers no constructive method for performing the selection.
• Mathematical Humor: The non-constructive nature of the axiom perfectly captures the sentiment of saying "I guarantee a choice can be made, but I won't tell you how."

5. You go on with your work $\rightarrow \Delta t \to \infty, \text{ where } \Delta t \text{ is interaction time}$

• Concept: Limit Theory/Physics. $\Delta t \to \infty$ means the interaction or waiting time tends toward infinity.
• Mathematical Humor: The phrase "Don't wait for me" is formalized as an infinitely long waiting period, or the total decoupling of two systems.

6. I can't do it $\rightarrow \text{Problem} \in \mathbf{RE} \setminus \mathbf{R}$

• Concept: Computability Theory. $\mathbf{R}$ (Decidable) are problems with an algorithm. $\mathbf{RE}$ (Recursively Enumerable) are problems where a "yes" answer can be verified. $\mathbf{RE} \setminus \mathbf{R}$ is the set of undecidable problems.
• Mathematical Humor: "I can't do it" is an assertion that the task is fundamentally and provably undecidable by any general algorithm.

7. The only true God $\rightarrow \sum = \frac{ }{2}$

• Concept: Notational Fallacy/Academic Satire. This specific, visually ambiguous notation is a direct satire of the Jiang Ping incident, where a purported mathematical genius made an absurd notational error—the $\sum$ symbol was visually confused with a fraction line and the number 2, suggesting a grotesque error in writing an equation or a simple division/sum.
• Mathematical Humor: Instead of referencing established but paradoxical math (like divergent series summation), this entry satirizes the phenomenon of pseudo-mathematical genius by enshrining a clear notational absurdity as a "divine truth."

8. You are annoying $\rightarrow \dim_{\mathbb{C}} H^0(X, K_X) = \infty$

• Concept: Algebraic Geometry. This describes an infinitely-dimensional space of sections of the Canonical Bundle.
• Mathematical Humor: The structure is literally infinitely complex, making its study frustratingly "annoying."

9. None of your business/Mind your own business $\rightarrow \text{Aut}(G) \not\cong \text{Inn}(G)$

• Concept: Group Theory. $\text{Aut}(G)$ (all automorphisms) is not isomorphic to $\text{Inn}(G)$ (automorphisms by conjugation, internal operations). The difference means there exist Outer Automorphisms.
• Mathematical Humor: The existence of an Outer Automorphism is a formal way of saying there are structural changes that are "outside the group's control" and, therefore, "none of your business."

10. Get lost/Go away $\rightarrow \text{Proof of } \text{ind}(D) = \int_M \hat{A}(M) \text{ is acceptable}$

• Concept: Differential Geometry/Topology (The Atiyah–Singer Index Theorem). This is a reference to a mathematical inside joke concerning a known historical controversy or skepticism surrounding a late proof or variation related to the Index Theorem.
• Mathematical Humor: The word "acceptable" is used sarcastically to mean "rejected" or "met with enormous resistance," thus serving as a dramatic technical equivalent for "Go away."

11. I was wrong $\rightarrow \blacksquare \text{ contradiction}$

• Concept: Logic/Proof Theory. The $\blacksquare$ symbol (or $\rightarrow\leftarrow$) is the formal termination of a Proof by Contradiction, which demonstrates the original hypothesis was false.
• Mathematical Humor: An admission of error is the ultimate, non-negotiable conclusion derived from formal logical deduction.

12. You are wrong $\rightarrow 0.999999\dots \neq 1$

• Concept: Real Analysis/Non-Standard Analysis. In standard analysis, $0.999\dots$ is rigorously equal to $1$.
• Author's Correction: The primary intent was to capture the pedantic stubbornness of a "math crank" insisting on a position that is false in standard contexts (like the never-ending internet debate over $0.\bar{9} = 1$). A secondary interpretation is that the statement holds true only within the framework of Non-Standard Analysis, which allows for non-zero infinitesimals, thus enabling the speaker to "correct" the other person from an obscure, high-level context.

13. I've eaten $\rightarrow \exists x \in \text{Spec}\mathcal{O}_K, \kappa(x) \neq \emptyset$

• Concept: Algebraic Number Theory/Scheme Theory. The condition asserts the existence of a prime ideal $x$ in the ring of integers $\mathcal{O}_K$ such that its residue field $\kappa(x)$ is non-empty.
• Mathematical Humor: This is an overly formal, abstract statement that there is "residual matter" (residue field) in the system.

14. Help me out/Do me a favor $\rightarrow \Gamma \vdash ? : \text{Req} \to \text{Action}$

• Concept: Type Theory/Programming Language Logic. A Typing Judgment asserting that in a given context $\Gamma$, one must construct a term (?) of the function type $\text{Req} \to \text{Action}$.
• Mathematical Humor: A simple favor request is formalized as a rigorous need to implement a function that maps the Request to a corresponding, type-correct Action.

15. Keep me company $\rightarrow \text{Seeking } F \dashv G \text{ in } \mathcal{C}$

• Concept: Category Theory. $F \dashv G$ denotes an Adjunction, a powerful duality relationship between two functors ($F$ and $G$) within a category $\mathcal{C}$.
• Author's Correction: The Adjunction is the primary concept. The author noted the final "in $\mathcal{C}$" is formally vague. The structure being sought might be more precisely defined by functors between two specific categories (e.g., $F: \mathcal{C} \to \mathcal{D}$) or, if $F$ and $G$ act on the same category, as $\text{End}(\mathcal{C})$. The core meaning—seeking a structured, dual relationship—remains, but the notation's precision was called into question.
• Mathematical Humor: Companionship is defined as finding a profound, structured, and mutually beneficial duality.

16. I'm furious/It drives me mad $\rightarrow \text{Gal}(E/\mathbb{Q}) \text{ is not solvable}$

• Concept: Galois Theory/Abstract Algebra. The expression means the Galois group of a polynomial equation is not solvable, which by the Abel–Ruffini Theorem, implies the equation has no solution in terms of radicals.
• Mathematical Humor: The non-solvability of the equation perfectly mirrors the state of being furious/unable to solve an emotional problem. This also serves as a historical reference to the passionate circumstances leading to Évariste Galois's death.

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Final Note: The author extends thanks for the corrections, acknowledging the commitment to rigor even in the creation of academic memes.